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Cool Cats Don't Do Drugs

Happy HumpDay!

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States across the U.S. are slowly but surely legalizing marijuana for recreational use. This shift in drug regulation contradicts 83 years of law enforcement outlawing weed. While it has taken decades to get marijuana to be legalized, one drug has always been available for every day use. Unfortunately for humans, that drug is for cats.

Neptara Cataria, better known as Catnip is effectively a drug for cats. The green leafy plant has a significant impact on the mood and behavior of most cats. Catnip contains a chemical known as nepetalactone which is inhaled through a cat’s nose and causes cats to feel relaxed and happy. Consuming a lot of catnip will cause cats to get hungry, sleepy, and sometimes anxious (not a joke). The appearance and effects of catnip are suspiciously similar to another green leafy drug that has been outlawed for almost a century. Why have cats allowed to get high while humans can get arrested, lose their jobs, and go to jail for doing the same thing?

Interestingly, catnip is not only effective on domestic cats. Tests on the effects of catnip on leopards, lions, and tigers have shown that the effects on large cats are the same as the effects on small cats.

How Does Catnip Work? Picture of Catnip


A wise elf once said, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear”. This holiday season, carolers all around the world will sing the classics, Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, Let it Snow, and a fan favorite Winter Wonderland. As you sing along to the words that we all know. Take a second and think about the lyrics. Do you actually know what they mean?

“In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is Parson Brown”

Who is Parson Brown and why are we pretending to make a snowman of him? It turns out, Parson Brown is a fictional character made up by the original songwriter Richard Smith. The character is a Parson which is an old-fashioned name for a priest that is responsible for a small area like a town.

The song describes an idyllic winter day for a couple in love. They walk through the snow as the birds sing a love song. They build a snowman and pretend it’s a priest, which they name Parson Brown, to hold a pretend wedding. The lyric “he’ll say are you married, we’ll say no man. But you can do the job while you’re in town” is the couple pretending to speak to the priest (actually a snowman) that will marry them.

Parson Brown is not actually a real person but instead he is a fictional character that apparently looks like a snowman and is comfortable holding impromptu weddings on demand.

Lyrics to Winter Wonderland Michael Buble Version


The American Revolution was the first and greatest underdog story in American history. Starting with rebellious militias in New England, expanding to a rag tag continental army, and ending with a group of disjointed colonies defeating the world’s greatest super power. The American Revolution came to an end with the British surrender after the Battle of Yorktown on October 19th, 1781. But even after their defeat the cocky British couldn’t handle losing to the upstart Americans.

As was tradition in colonial times, the surrendering army was allowed to march out of their fort with their band playing a song to honor the victorious army in order to preserve their dignity in the face of defeat. The British army marched out of their fort in Yorktown, Virginia and the band played a fitting song for the events that had just occurred called “The World Turned Upside Down”. Seemed like a fitting tribute to the American Army but it slowly devolved from there.

The commander of the British Army, General Cornwallis, was too ashamed to surrender so he faked being sick in order to skip the surrender ceremony. The shame spread from the commander to his soldiers. When the band played their marching tune, the British soldiers were too ashamed to look at the American soldiers, so they played facing the French army to avoid having to look their enemy in the eye. In response to the British’s disrespect toward the victorious Americans, the French Commander, General Marquee de Lafayette, ordered the French band to approach the British band and play “Yankee Doodle Dandy” to honor the American soldiers.

When the British came to surrender, the commanding officer approached the French general to offer his sword as a sign of surrender. The French general refused and pointed him toward General George Washington to have him accept the surrender. George Washington refused the British officers sword and pointed him toward his second in command. The Second in command refused the sword and pointed the British officer toward a pile of junk weapons seized from the British. The officer eventually threw his symbolic sword of the surrender on the pile of other weapons as if it meant nothing.

The ceremony that was supposed to bring a respectful end to the American Revolution ended up devolving into a mess that featured the boss calling in sick, an old timey drum battle, and a bunch of caddy generals throwing shade at each other.

This Week in History

On this week in 1979, scientists from around the world officially declared that the deadly disease of Small Pox had been eradicated from the earth. The incredibly infectious and deadly disease was responsible for millions of deaths over the course of human history. Most notably for Americans, small pox lead to a massive pandemic that killed 30% of America’s indigenous population. The eradication of the disease was a major milestone in global public health and has no doubt saved tens of thousands of lives.

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